To love, to hate, to cry, to laugh, is to be alive. 

Lately I have been having many f*ck I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life ‘ kinda moments. Everyone I seem to speak to has a plan. They’ve figured out what they want to be doing, where they want to go, or the next step they wish to take.

But this morning I had a conversation that got me thinking about my life, my plan, and why it’s completely ok to not follow or copy everybody elses. But I suddenly realised I don’t really have a plan at all.

Tomorrow I hop on a plane with a one way ticket, into something completely unknown to me without a clue of what could possibly happen. Everything up until now has just flown by one step at a time, without any real chance to stop and think of what may happen, we grow up through different schools and subjects, worried about getting a good grade, to be able to leave school and? Oh yes, keep studying some more. When we reach university we come across the first real life decision we have to make, I don’t doubt that by this stage many people have a good idea of where they want to end up, so a career decision may seem easy to them, but to me choosing my career path didn’t come easy.

Then we sit through years of university, hiding behind different books and projects, while having the time of our lives with friends and feeling complete free for the first time from our parents, however although we may seem free we are still held up by lifes safety net, due to the fact that the only real concern we hold at this point is to get through university, without having to make a life plan just yet.

But what happens once finished? That net that once held us up is cut, and we suddenly fall through life ready to take it one step at a time and fight for those dreams we have hidden inside.  So this is now me, ready to take life how it comes. However with this in mind it is still true that I have no idea where I want to be next year, hell I don’t even really know where I want to be now.

Someone close to me once wrote:

There is no light without darkness, no joy without tears, no success without sacrifice. 

I do consider myself lucky, ’cause there is one thing I know for sure and that’s that I now know what kind of job I want to end up in, but this is easier said than done ’cause in the end this is life and we will encounter many obstacles along the way that will make the journey all that more difficult, but that shouldn’t stop us from having hopes and dreams to get there. But moreover when it comes to where I want to be living, how my life will be going or anything else that comes along with having your life all planned out I have no fuckin’ clue. 

However right now,  I couldn’t be more excited about this leap into the void, ’cause one thing I know for sure is that I may not have a life plan but I am living the life I want to live, with choices I decide for myself, and will fight every day for what I love, and live my life to the fullest possibly way, who cares if some people have a plan, many of us don’t and it is completely normal, there is no written way on how we have to live our life.

In my case I’m ready for this new adventure, sometimes you just have to be willing to plunge yourself into darkness, overcome your fears and become one with adventure, only then will you be able to push past your fear of uncertainty and start fighting for a new life, doesn’t matter if it’s in your future plans or not, if it’s important to you, FOLLOW IT!

In the end, don’t think of it as not having a plan think of it as a surprise, after all the best things often are.

2 more sleeps, Happy Christmas Eve Eve!!


Love.

C.xx

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